My friend Trevor introduced me to a brilliant little thing called the interrobang (‽), which I am now in love with. While poking around on the internets for more info on it, I found this, which is also brilliant.
Folks, this is a problem. Sady Doyle from Tiger Beatdown - along with many other people who are also speaking up - is actually getting threatened, harassed and possibly stalked for having the audacity to call beloved "progressive" filmmaker Michael Moore on his rape apologism.
I say "progressive" in quotes, because y'know what? It's actually NOT progressive to dismiss and attempt to discredit women's claims of rape. It's not progressive to publish the victims' names. It's not progressive to use a fucking Holocaust denier as one of your sources, for pete's sake.
As many, many other people have said, it is ENTIRELY possible to hold both thoughts: that Julian Assange is being targeted by governments for his important work AND that any rape allegations should be taken seriously. Much like one can hold that Roman Polanski has made some great films AND he's a child rapist. People are complicated. They can be awesome and talented in some ways and incredibly fucked up in others. This is not rocket science.
So anyway, Sady Doyle. She started a campaign, asking folks to tweet Michael Moore (@MMFlint) with the hashtag #mooreandme, asking him to stop being a rape apologist and to use his fame and influence to actually address the very real problem of sexual violence. Whereupon, supporters of Moore (and others) started using the hashtag to make rape jokes, to threaten sexual violence against Sady and to continue to belittle rape survivors. This is almost ironic, except it's so exceedinly fucked up. It's indicative of a continuing problem.
Kate Harding has some really good things to say:
"Technically, he hasn’t come down on one side or the other here. But when you say “don’t believe the official story” and call the allegations “strange” and link to an article that casts a great deal of suspicion on the alleged victims–and where the primary sources are “people in contact with his entourage at the time,” his defense lawyers, and a Daily fucking Mail article that’s also based on anonymous sources–and p.s., you live in a culture where victims are routinely called liars and sexual assault allegations are routinely downplayed–you’re sending a message." -
And here are some Tiger Beatdown posts from Sady Doyle about this:
"And you’re the face of the Left. You have the platform, you have the power, you have the cash and the fame and the name and face recognition: You claim to speak for us. And when you speak, you don’t stand against rape."
"“Because they want it to disappear,” I said. “That’s what they’re counting on. It’s been four days, they’re counting on the fact that the Internet has a short attention span and a bad memory, they’re counting on the fact that the trolls are going to scare us or make us feel so terrible that we can’t keep going, they’re counting on the fact that they can just let everybody harass us until we can’t keep going just for the sake of our own emotional and physical health, and they can just not respond, they can just have a nice weekend, while we keep fighting until we’ve been threatened and called whores and been scared for our safety or the safety of others enough, and then we’ll disappear and they can keep pretending that this isn’t happening, they can just keep pretending that it never happened.”
“AND THAT’S EXACTLY WHY WOMEN DROP RAPE CHARGES TOO,” I said. I remember this part very clearly because I was, in fact, yelling."
They all have links to original sources - I just do not have the time or energy to post them all here. But I will post links to local and national orgs working on the problem of sexual violence. Get involved, donate if you can. At minimum, educate yourself and speak up.
Twitter campaign: @MMFlint, #mooreandme
Safe Place - Olympia Northwest Network - Seattle CARA - Seattle INCITE! - National
(In light of news that RAINN partners with orgs that discriminate against trans folk, I do not recommend donating to them.)
I've been sexually harassed. A lot. Just like most women (and when I say women, I am including trans women), really, and especially as a chubby woman with T&A, and as a woman with tattoos (those two factors seems to make people feel even more entitled to lasciviously comment on my appearance). But I can remember being scared just two times.
When I lived in San Francisco several years ago, I frequently took cabs home from the bar or the grocery store. The driver this time kept looking at me in his rearview mirror - like, staring a LOT, and started asking me personal questions (what's my name, do I have a boyfriend, etc.). And I realized - fuck, I'm in HIS car, he has the power. This is creepy and scary and I do NOT want him to know where I live. So I told him to let me out about 4 blocks earlier than I'd planned, didn't tip him, and stood there and watched as he drove away.
And now, just last week, I was leaving a friend's holiday party. I had to leave at 10pm so I could catch the last bus home on a Saturday night (oh, small towns and their public transportation!). I was walking along State Street, about a block from the bus station, when a shiny black car with two young white guys drives slowly by and shouts at me "show us your titties?!"
(Let me add here a note about clothing. Because of the whole stupid, misogynistic idea that wearing slutty things means its your own fault if you get harassed, and that that's why you get harassed. It's winter in the Pacific Northwest, which means it was rainy, and I was wearing about 5 million layers - leggings, dress that goes to just above my knees, cardigan sweater, thick zip-up sweater, 2 scarves, armwarmers and a puffy vest. Sexxxxxy. I was totally asking for it dressed like that.)
This is the kind of thing I'm used to, and that has happened to me several many dozens of times and generally I respond by either not responding at all, or by flipping them off as I continue walking. This time, I flipped them off.
And that's when it got scary. Because they pulled into the parking lot I was crossing. And there was no one else around. It gets a little fuzzy at this point, because that's what happens to me when I'm scared or highly emotional - I kinda dissociate, apparently. But I do remember wondering where my knife was and if I couldn't find that, maybe I could stab them with my knitting needles, and that I started yelling at them at the top of my lungs, something to the effect of "FUCK YOU! YOU DO NOT FUCKING HARASS WOMEN LIKE THAT ON THE STREET AT NIGHT! YOU NEED TO FUCKING LEAVE RIGHT NOW OR I AM CALLING THE COPS, YOU GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLES!" And I kept walking, and they slowly pulled away after a few minutes. I do not remember if or how they responded to what I said.
When I got to the (well-lit, populated) bus station, the adrenaline wore off and I was shaky with the realization of what easily could have happened. I managed to hold it together until I got home and then I cried for a few minutes. And part of it was yeah, I was scared because it came close to getting physical. But the other part was the horrible reminder that this is what women (and others) live with every goddamned day. The fear of violence, sexual violence is always there. I don't care how fucking tough you are - pretty much every woman and has this in the back of their minds, even when we're not aware of it.
And really, I'm kinda curious what drives guys to do that sort of thing, and to think that it's okay to do. I mean, do they think that downtown Oly at 10pm is Girls Gone Wild? Do they think I'm going to be overcome with lust for them and blow them all in their cars? Really, I want to know what's going on in those heads.
I was just lucky. I was lucky that nothing happened. Sure, I have a loud mouth and some righteous rage (by-products of a privileged white girl upbringing) and maybe that helped. And maybe those particular guys would never actually physically assault someone. But when at least 1 in 6 women is sexually assaulted in the US (and an estimated 60% of assaults go unreported), well, I'm no special snowflake just because it's never happened to me. I would say that most of my friends have been sexually assaulted in some way, and I sometimes feel oddly guilty that I haven't been - like a perverse form of survivor guilt.
We need men to do more work on this. We need men who will be active allies against sexual violence, who will speak up when they hear women being denigrated. We need more men like Tony Porter, to challenge our society's idea that being a man must mean being violent and dominating.
And I know I'm not saying anything new here. I think I mostly needed to post this for myself, to vent and to share, because that's what we humans do.
p.s. I like to fantasize about what it would have been like if my crazy, fear-aggressive dog had been with me. HAHAHAHAHA! If I were Allie Brosh, I would draw you an awesome picture of it.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Remember that one time I was all, "I'm going to BLOG!" Yeah, me too.
I really like the idea of doing a blog, but as with many things in my life, it's the getting around to the doing of it that always trips me up.
Fall quarter is just about over, so I'm going to try to post during that time, in hopes of getting in the habit.
My writing class was a bit disappointing - not so challenging and not enough writing. But I got a few good things out of it:
a good start on an essay about the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival and the exclusion of trans women from queer women's spaces/community. I really want to continue working on this and put it out to the public in some way eventually
an invitation from one of my professors to write a short article for the Evening Weekend Studies circular, with a distribution of about 50,000. It was nice to be recognized and invited, and it's nice to have something professional to start building a portfolio. And I get a $25 gift card to the on-campus store and some sort of fancy thank-you letter from the Dean.
a few new friends, connections to smart, nice people.
more confidence in my existing writing skills and a desire to further them
the knowledge that I want to focus my studies on more theoretical and academic learning
I'm hoping to get into a sociolinguistics class for next quarter, and a 2-credit writing class with Rebecca Brown (!). And it looks like I'll be doing an independent study on passing and invisibility spring quarter.
My personal life has been up and down, with a lot of down. There's work to be done and I'm doing some of that work. So yay me, I guess.
